NA WSZYSTKO PRZYJDZIE CZAS. NIE PANIKUJ.
Matki mają to do siebie, że uwielbiają mieć względem własnych dzieci nieadekwatne do ich wieku oczekiwania. Sikanie na nocnik, samodzielne jedzenie, chodzenie. Pewnie miałam zadatki na taką matkę i pewnie nadal mam. Tylko, że dzięki Bogu mam K., który drastycznie i z hukiem sprowadza mnie na ziemię. I teraz widzę, wiem i czuję, że na wszystko przychodzi odpowiedni czas.
Można go przyspieszyć? Można, ale czy warto? I jakim kosztem?
SCENA 1
Pamiętam siebie sprzed roku. Hania z przygotowanym talerzykiem, jeszcze czworakująca, ledwie siedząca, ale wsuwająca pierwsze smakołyki rączką. Kasza jaglana z malinami. Urocze, nagrane, powtórzone z 10 razy i odroczone. W buzi lądowała 1/100 pokarmu, cała reszta na podłodze, za moją koszulką, w skarpetce, pod dywanem. Zakrzyczcie mnie i podajcie milion argumentów ZA, ale i tak nie zmienię zdania. Koszt przewyższał efekt. A matka jest tylko jedna i ma zazwyczaj baterie na poziomie LOW. I choć słyszałam, że „krzywdzę moje dziecko”, „odbieram mu chwile spontanicznego mazania dywanu zupą buraczkową” to odczekałam tę burzę. Ograniczyłam się do suchych przekąsek, pracowałam nad małą motoryką w inny sposób, żeby niedawno odkryć, że rączki są już na tyle sprawne, główka pracuje i możemy cieszyć się ze wspólnych posiłków jedzonych |wciąż nieporadnie| każdy ze swojego talerza.
SCENA 2
Pierwszy nocnik Hania dostała mając 5 miesięcy. Idealny, grający, istny tron. Z zawziętością znaną tylko matkom sadzałam na nocnik przy każdej zmianie wyrazu twarzy, „na czuja”, „na wszelki wypadek”, „po piciu”, „po jedzeniu” itd. Aż skapitulowałam, trochę odpuściłam. Czynności odpinania, zapinania, zdejmowania, zakładania pieluchy zbrzydły mi do maksimum. I co? I własnie wtedy Hania zawołała si-si. Tak po prostu. To trochę tak jak z nauką do egzaminu. Kiedyś musisz w końcu odłożyć książkę, wyjść na spacer, przespać się. W efekcie budzisz się rano z zaskoczeniem odkrywając, że znasz odpowiedzi na wszystkie pytania.
Każdy potrzebuje etapu nauki i etapu przetwarzania informacji. Niby to jasne i oczywiste, ale jakże odkrywcze! Mnie trochę zajęło zanim przetworzyłam wiedzę z zakresu wygórowanych oczekiwań względem dziecka i chwała, że mam to za sobą.
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